Sometimes after a reading I am brought back to my own life experiences, my own losses, my own sadness.. I know now all that has happened to me has made me who I am today and has brought me exactly to where I am meant to be...
After my reading Wednesday night, I found myself overwhelmed with emotion... I had read a woman who recently lost a child... She had gone into the hospital, only to leave empty handed... Seeing pictures of her holding her stillborn baby not only touched me it dragged me back thirteen years ago... When I had gone into premature labor and left the hospital the same way she had, empty handed... I remember being sad like her, I remember pleading for answers and reasons why... I am often saddened by some of my experiences and I come home and thank my lucky stars for the blessings I am surrounded with...
Thirteen years ago I had gone into labor and lost twin babies at 5 months, I was devastated at the age of 20... During the next 2 years I had miscarried 3 more times and was told that I was not going to have my own children.. My husband and I were told to think about adoption, or having a Sergeant I knew that this could not be true I knew I would be a mom... Six months after that conversation, I had gotten pregnant again this time I was on birth control and told from the beginning that the pregnancy only had a 10% chance of working... I carried to 8 and a half months, a beautiful baby girl born in November, 8 pounds 8 ounces and she was definitely a miracle baby!
I now have 4 beautiful daughters, and I am lucky that after the birth of my first daughter I had no other problems carrying my own babies... I am definitely done having children of my own and being pregnant 8 times can put a toll on ones body especially in a length of 10 years... I think of the babies I lost, and I get sad just like everyone else... I know that they are being taken care of my grandmothers until it is my turn to join them... Seeing that woman the other night knowing her journey has just started, just hurt my heart enough to stir the pain I know lies deep down...
After the sadness of tragedy fades, there is a pain that remains, life will go on and blessings will shine through so we keep our faith and believe that it is all meant to be...

A bad attitude is like a flat tire, it doesn't get you anywhere until you change it...
Sorry it has been a while since my last post but I have been blessed to be working hard... Mid-September I was worried because my calendar looked a little bare of appointments and no work for me equaled no money... I actually came a point to where  I sat quietly in meditation and asked God, if this was it should I go back to a regular job and just continue to do my readings as a part time situation... That was a Monday morning after all the kids were in school and Mama B had some time to herself... That was an amazing week filled with spiritual answers for myself... I am doing exactly what I was meant to be doing.. In one week, not only did I finish booking the rest of September I completely booked October! It was clear no question I prayed and was lucky enough to be heard...
So October is here and I am one busy medium, and one busy mom... During the week I have been working with a dear friend of mine, and spiritual Empath Samantha... Exploring more of the spiritual healing together... After the girls get home from school, I help do home-work once the husband is home it's usually time for me to get ready to go to work.. Being away from home a few nights a week stinks, but I make sure I take care of my motherly duties and my kids know how important my work is to not only me but to everyone who sees me... I have been so aware of my calling this month, whether it be the moon or the veil between us and the spiritual world around us being a little thinner... I am so aware of me, everything about me.... All the energy around me...
I enjoy when people tell me I am so authentic and genuine there is no one like me, I am not one to push my gift or flaunt it in anyway... When others around me want me to I get very uncomfortable and usually walk away from a situation...  I know that what I do is very emotional and overwhelming and I refuse to let it be anything but personal!

When you believe in God you are able to  pull the strength you need, from your faith....
I have a very good relationship with GOD... I consider myself religious in my own way... I do not attend church every Sunday, nor do I know all aspects of the bible... Have I read it, yes... Do I believe the entire thing page by page, no... Do I believe some of it, yes... I know God is there, how? I have seen and had interactions with spirits almost everyday of my entire life so far... So if our loved ones that have passed are there I am for sure, he is too... I keep my faith in him, and I know that if I need him he will be there... I know that he will answer my prayers, it may not be the way that I expect it to be answered but I know for sure they get answered...
Pulling strength from our faith is an amazing, and great gift... I have seen so many people who have lost so much and continued to have faith... Some of them even experienced a stronger connection with their faith after a tragic event... I believe this is due to the spiritual energy that they know is around them (thanks to GOD)... I always believe things happen for a reason good, bad, and the in between... If I am denied something at a point in my life, I just take it as GOD knows it is not my time for it and I know some day it will be mine, when that time is right...
It is also important to be aware of all the spiritual energy around you, for example have you ever had your mood change when someone around you was having a bad day? That is because their spiritual energy is coming into yours and affecting your energy... Or have you noticed that when your having a bad day your pet comes over, and you feel better? That is because even your pet's spiritual energy can help affect you, and more often then not our pet's always help us in a positive way...  Before you change yourself because your life is moving in a negative direction, look at the company you keep... The family you spend time with, the friends you have... Make sure you just don't need to change the energy around you for your life to become more positive....

Those who are never satisfied...
Some people in this world are just never satisfied, with their situation, with who they are, or even what they are told... There are people who simply play the victim in every life situation, and then there are those who have so much but still feel the need for more... This topic crossed my path a few times this week, and it was in different situations... Last night was almost the last straw for me and I am so happy that last night ended my work week, and I plan to definitely de-stress over these next few days...
When I read someone I get my strongest information from hearing, I hear with my ears and not my mind... So if I hear a spirit clearly, I usually don't ask them to show themselves to mess up the current energy they already have with me... When someone overly stresses the fact that they have seen many psychics, and have seen the best and name big names I cant help but feel nervous or pressure... Then I go to work and like anyone else, I do my best and only my best!.. I have faith in the spirits I hear and see... I don't question myself when it comes to it, but rarely and I do mean rarely ( this is the second circumstance out of 900 experiences) I get someone who just isn't satisfied... I try to make sure that everyone that shares and experience with enjoys it, and I ask if there are any questions before I end my session... There is nothing like hearing someone say I wish I had the opportunity to asked this... Last night to hear the woman say that she didn't believe her mother was there (because she would have been more specific for her) upset me for two reasons... One: The spirit came through loud to me, there was no reason to question she also validated many things during the reading things I could never know with out her spirit there... Two: I did my best and she felt like because of all her OTHER  experiences she challenged me/ compared me...
I never say that I am the best at what I do, and I am still finding my way at how I relay the messages that I hear, I have had this all my life but only doing it professionally not even 2 years... I never had to prove or validate what was presented to me until then...  I know I did my best for her and the spirit that presented herself to me as her mother, and I believe to be her mother because of the validation she proved to me... I will never be able to please everyone, there will be those never satisfied with the experience I provide because their satisfaction level is at a high... I believe in what I know, because of what I see, and what I hear... I just hope that after I left she re-evaluated our session and realized her mother's spirit was there and a sense of comfort was felt...
I do not need believers in me, I just need to know that others believe that loved ones that have passed have not left us here in the physical world!

It's the first day of school for my girls...
So exciting to send my ladies to school this morning especially since my third daughter started kindergarten... So no I have a fifth, second, and kindergartner in full time school and my youngest will be entering pre pre-school tomorrow!! Three days a week will be time to myself and I plan to use that time to concentrate on losing weight... I have made attempts in the past but never successful, this time with determination and lack of excuses about time I am ready... I will be successful...
Last month I was extremely busy with work, I had met so many wonderful people too... I keep thinking to myself that maybe I should start writing a book about my life, I then think about the already countless books out there about people like me why would I... I find it funny that I was always told one day I would write a book, and I always thought it was going to be about my over dramatic family that had so much drama I am sure it would be a best seller... LOL, I sometimes think that I am on a reality show up in heaven and they just watch me and laugh...  There are so many people that after I do the reading, they just ask me question after question and I don't mind at all... I enjoy giving my spin on what I think about us and spirits but I always tell them it's simply my interpretation after all that I am aware of... I do not know all the facts, nor do I know where we go... Heaven to me is a place that I want to go to and when I do, I want the same face and surprise as everyone else... So I limit my questions about heaven...
My gift is special, I respect every aspect of it... If I see or feel an energy I do not antagonize it, I do not force a connection, and I always stay true to my faith that God and the energy around me protect me from evil... If you believe that you have what I do, and want it to grow you must find that within yourself... I always say that becoming more psychic is up to you and your connection to the energy around you if you explore it on your own you will know what your comfort level is... Often others that find groups or schools to help them, suffer anxiety or horrible experiences (not all) I believe it is because of not only all the energy around them but the forcing of the energy around them to make connections... Natural is always the best form, and reading... I like to tell others to a store and look through the books, take the ones that stick out to you the ones that your intuition say YES to... I never mind questions, and I always answer the best that I can, if I don't know I simply say I don't know... We all have some type of gift inside us, it's believing in our self to know that it's truly there!
Believing that we can use our own energy and the energy around us to help guide us in everyday life is an amazing experience, it's letting go and using it that is hard to do... We can all do it!

We are sometimes so consumed by what we want, we forget about what we really need...
Our human interactions, our human eyes create our wants.... Whether it be something someone else has, or by an emotion we feel the need to have... Let's start with love, some are so consumed with having a relationship and finding that way to marriage that they forget that there are some things that they need like being cherished, treated right, or even losing their own selves for someone else... We look from the outside of every other relationship, friendship, we see which means we are not in the inside to know whether or not it is perfect or something "we want"...
I sometimes call it "the grass is always greener syndrome" (not an actual syndrome remember it is what I call it)... It is when you look around you and you assume that the grasses is always greener then in your own lawn... I joke about you don't actually know how much fertilizer those other people had to go through to get their grass that green... Everyone has had their own struggles their own fertilizer to go through and we must understand that...  We may think that God is not giving us what we want, but I am sure he is giving us what we need to maintain our own green lawn...
That is why I make sure I do not overlook the smallest of blessings in my life, because I know that when I look back I will see that it was part of a big one in the making... Some of the things that we don't appreciate day to day, may just be some of the things someone else is praying for today... We must look around and say "thank you"
Being thankful is one of the ways you show GOD honor, so do it everyday...

The worst things that happen to you may be the best things for you, that is only if you don't let it get the best of you...
I have seen so many great people fall from a tragedy, and I have seen plenty rise above the tragedy in their life... Some of us get so consumed with our own thoughts and human reactions that when something bad happens we completely fold to it... What we all need to realize is that there is an end, and in that end we may find the best of things... We are always rewarded from a struggle, even if it's in a way we don't fully understand until way after...
In my life I have had many struggles, I always seem to have to work harder then everyone else and to this day I still do... When I was living down south and my husband and I were having trouble having children, a wise older woman said to me... You cant have a testimony without a test, and the greatest gifts come at the times of no hope... Many years later I still remember that and though I was told I was never going to have kids all those years ago, I see 4 beautiful little girls watching television beside me... I am aware of every miracle in my life, even the ones I could not see... We all get scared, to let go and leave it up to the higher powers trust me I know... When I decided to leave my stable good job to adventure into this I was scared (my husband was worse)... My deal out loud to the God was, if this is what I am meant to do was just to replace what I made at the hospital and I know I will be OK... I have bills and mouths to feed just like you, but I did it I leaped I left my job and kept my faith... BEST DECISION I'VE EVER MADE!
Within months I knew it was for me, not only by the overwhelming response but even on my worst week of booking I made what I would have at the hospital... See when you are meant to do something the universe, the higher power, and you learn to make it work...
Sometimes it is just learning to let go, even when things are at their worst... You never know what amazing things God will bring you to when you can...

LIVE beautifully, DREAM passionately, LOVE completely...
Happy Monday all, today I will be busy being a wife and mother due to it being my husband's birthday.... Cleaning, cooking, and baking are on my agenda today.... I am sure my girls will love to help especially it will be for daddy, lol they definitely love their daddy... I had an enjoyable weekend off, spending Saturday night with my friends from the hospital and all of yesterday doing things daddy wanted to do... I also have tonight off to actually celebrate his birthday, but it is back to a full week of readings after then...
I actually get excited to work, I get excited to know that someone I may be reading actually will be helped or healed from what I can hear for them... Last week alone, the amount of love and healing that came from the spirits was amazing... Goosebumps, chills, and just an overall sense of peace from so many... Sometimes the actual emotion in the room is overwhelming in power that you can only feel blessed to be in that situation... Truly blessed for this gift...
What would I say to others who have what I do, be respectful of all energy and you will be treated just as well... If it is your dream to share your gift for others make sure it is for the right reasons, not the money reasons... I am reasonably priced for one simple reason, everyone should be able to afford to see me... I do not push anyone to see me nor do I force what I do onto anyone... Those I read come to me willing, and open... I give what I do my whole heart, I am passionate about my dream...
What I do is emotional, serious, and often overwhelming for who I sit with... I see spirits with my eyes, I hear spirits with my ears not with my mind so I have no choice but to believe...

If someone is strong enough to bring you down... Show them you are strong enough not only to get back up, but smile and walk away...
Never allow those who bring you down to stay in your life to long... I have learned that some people are so miserable with their own life that they actually do/say hurtful things toward other people just so their life doesn't look so bad... It is amazing how if we helped each other, believed in each other we would create a better world...
There are those who flash their material things in front of everyone to try to show their happiness, when in reality their definition of happiness is completely wrong... We are so concerned with having the best of everything, keeping up with everyone else that we often leave who we truly are behind... Keeping up with Jones's is a big phrase, but you never truly know if the Jones family is truly miserable behind closed doors because they are so much in debt thanks to all the material things they have... Why can't we all just be content with being comfortable and having just enough?.. My husband definitely keeps me grounded, I am the one with the expensive eyes... Being a mother of four also limits my ability to have everything I want, but I am never denied the things that I need... I never try to keep up, because I don't know what everyone else had to do to get what they have... I may sometimes complain about all the things I wish I could have, because my husband and I work so hard... Then I look around and see how happy my husband and I are with each other, and how happy my kids are and I know I am in no short supply of blessings!
I would never change places with anyone, I am happy being me... For those who think I live simple, and without enough obviously does not see my life the same way I do... I am all about the love and happiness that surrounds me, not what I lack...
If we constantly look at what we don't have, we overlook the many things we do have...

I am human just like everyone else...
Just because I have this gift and I understand my own spiritual path, doesn't mean I don't have my human reactions to life just like everyone else... I freak out, cry, worry, and sometimes get angry... Hey don't judge it's only human of me... I can't help but worry about things so materialistic like money, I have a family that includes 4 little girls that I have to feed and clothe and on Long Island it's tough and expensive... In the end I always have enough, and I am extremely thankful for that... When I am upset I cry, when those who pass around me I cry and get sad, even though I know what I do I cry for their physical passing and for those who don't get to see what I do...
My gift is something that is with me all the time, yet it is something I am blessed to be able to set aside so that I am able to have normal conversations with others without being interrupted by a spirit... I am grateful for that because I don't want others to think that when they are having a conversation with me I am trying to read them... I usually say don't worry it's off, I ask to be respected by the energies around me... I worked at the hospital I would often see and hear things, plenty was kept to myself but I was very respected by the energy and the spirits around me I never felt overwhelmed or stressed by a spirit... I like to believe as long as I am respectful of the energy around me (living and non) they will respect me in return...
We all have intuition, some of you are a good judge of character and some are just a great judge of people... I have an amazing intuition, yet my human self often leads me to ignore it... I like to believe in people, I like to believe that someone who talks to me and tells me things are being completely truthful to me... I get those little feelings during a conversation with someone but I ignore it, I always no matter what try to the good in everyone... It is when the negative energy and negative situations present itself to my human self that I stop, and that is what I will do.. When I get to a point where I know that someone in my life is a negative energy or draining my positive energy I stop all contact with them.. I leave them where they belong, in my past... It really doesn't matter who they are to me either, I look at it as a spiritual stand point... We are around others for spiritual reasons, and it is usually to help our spiritual energy in positive ways, not to bring one another down with negativity and drama... It is hard for me to walk away from others I held so dear to me, but doing what I do I have to be careful of the energy around me...
I will keep my spirit full of positivity!

Learn from yesterday, Live for today, and hope for tomorrow...
This phrase may read differently to each one of you... To me this phrase means... learn from yesterday it is in the past you can not change but always remember it...  Live for today like there is no tomorrow, if you were to die would you be OK with the life you left for others to remember.... Hope for tomorrow, if tomorrow does come hope for an even better day then you were blessed with today...
Our human ways tend to get the best of us, and we often forget how to enjoy the beauty around us, the blessings around us... I tend to think that we are here for bigger reasons not to suffer but to enjoy the fact that WE are ALIVE... Human ways are what hold us back from simply enjoying everything around us, human ways like worries, doubt, and having enough... Most of these ways are connected to human things such as money, work, and relationships... We must know that the things that satisfy our souls and spirits are none of those things, we are satisfied by happiness, compassion, kindness, and love... The one person who you should always show the following to is yourself, you can not show those things to others unless you completely know how to show it to yourself...
We often grow up without learning our own self worth, no one seems to teach us to love ourselves... No one seems to take the time to teach us at a young age to learn about our own spirituality... Now if you were like me you were often brought to place and taught the religion you would be grown up in, but failed to understand spirituality... To me religion and spirituality are two different things, that have a common aspect... The common aspect is a higher power (in my case GOD)... Religion (to me) is a belief in a set way on how to worship, live under one higher power for a greater good for when we die... Spirituality (to me) is the understanding we are all here for a purpose from a higher power and can only be found within yourself, you know what is good for your spirit on earth, and when we pass on... Teaching our children a few simple things such as compassion, kindness, and taking 10 minutes out of the day to reflect on their own would make a tremendous dent in how the world works in the future... We worry so much on education and making our kids smarter, on top of others we create more egos in the world and forget about teaching the kindness or compassion...
I know that our spirits continue to live long after our human bodies die, I know that we take what we have learned from our lives here with us...  I know that not all things are interpreted the same for everyone in this world, so we should not always take what is written so literal... Believing in different things is one of the things that make our human experience exciting, but our human ways get caught in conflict with others... We can not judge each other for our differences but show kindness to each other for them...
It is amazing how taking 10 minutes to center our thoughts to help them become positive ones makes a difference in how we live... I hope for everyone's tomorrow....

Out late, up early...
Last night I had a beautiful group of 7 ladies in a town called Patchogue, here on Long Island... Each of them had special time with me since I do my groups individually with each guest... I was thanked for sharing my special gift and a lot of healing took place for some that needed it... Some wonder why I travel to others, and it is because I want those I read to have a sense of comfort... Doing what I do is very emotional, I see it on the faces and feel it in my spirit what others experience from my gift... I joke and say that making people cry is my occupational hazard...
My gift amazes me every time, I leave some reading just in awe.. A lot of the things that I say make no sense to me but when I say it to those I read it is an overwhelming comment to them... I try not to question why spirits say certain things, and I try not to figure things out while I am reading ( I am slowly getting better at that)... Wanting to know everything is a human trait that I often have to ignore... I love being hugged, and thanked when I help someone that just needed a simple message from a loved one... How I see others heal, is a gift seeing their spiritual light shine brighter just by sitting with me is my gift... I always thank every spiritual energy that comes through and I thank GOD after every reading for my gift...
Coming home around 11 and unwinding, sometimes takes longer then other nights to fall asleep after a group... I don't mind it at all until my three year old wakes me up at 6:30 am to open my curtains and yell, look mama it's morning time... Out of the four she is my most work... I always say that if she was my first she would be my only... My daughters are the ages 9, 6, 5, & 3... Come September I will have three in elementary school and one in nursery school 3 half days a week, I am very excited about some alone time...
I am asked if my kids know what I do? I do not hide what I do from my children... They know that mommy talks to spirits of those who died... They comprehend as much as I guess children their ages can...
Do any of my children have the gift? My oldest one had it and then grew out of it like most children do, but my 5 year old talks to spirits and so far has kept the gift... See I only can communicate with spirits that are connected to people around me, she talks to random spirits a lot of children spirits... I don't mind it because I keep a positive atmosphere and know that only good spirits can enter my home... I try to help her understand what she sees, and she isn't scared and that is important...
Remember that I have had this gift since I was little, there was no one to talk to so I make sure that my children understand about the spiritual energy around us... I hope that raising them like this will also help them understand that when those of us die, they are still her just different... I also make sure that they understand the importance of being thankful and praying to GOD, for help and guidance... All life is precious and we need to teach our children compassion, and respect for other spiritual energy and life around them...
Stay Blessed

What I believe.....
I believe that we were created as spiritual beings by GOD, and a long time ago God decided that we should have some experiences that were only possible by having a HUMAN EXPERIENCE... So the earth was created so that the spiritual beings that he loved so much could do things such as touch, share and show love, have families, also to feel, maybe even to experience a good cry... I believe that hundreds and hundreds of years ago there were many people like me who were able to see and talk to loved ones that have passed, and that when human beings slept it was a chance for our spiritual selves to go home and visit... I think that is why sleep is so important to us, and why sleep has dreams and where most people today have their chance to have a spiritual connection with loved ones that have passed...  Throughout time and changes (not always the good ones) we have become more human then spiritual, but I believe now more then ever we are trying to be the way we once were: more spiritual then human... That is why so many are trying to connect with meditation, and alternative medicine... Don't you ever wonder how we didn't have modern medicine, or the medical contraptions during the time of Moses yet he lived to be hundreds of years old? I do, and how come GOD gave us this amazing brain, yet researchers determine we only use a small percentage of it? I never claim to be smarter then anyone else, but I do believe that people who are like me use a certain part of the brain that others don't.... Many children do too and that is why they claim to see a departed loved ones, or they talk to "imaginary friends"... So I believe that when we leave our human form our spiritual selves return home and are able to come spend time, and share special moments with all the loved ones we have left behind here on earth... 
I also believe that those sent here by GOD are all sent for a reason, and I believe that GOD is loving and full of compassion to all that love and are compassionate in return... So you have the right to be who you want and LOVE who you want as long as it's true to your spiritual self...
I don't expect everyone to believe the same that I do, because I don't believe in the same as everyone else... I don't judge others for what or who they believe in, as long as you believe in something higher then ourselves... Having faith in a higher power, believing miracles can happen, that there is something out there to protect us (even if its in a way we don't understand), and showing compassion for one anothers' spirit is what is important to me... I will not just walk up to someone and let them know that a loved one's spirit is with them, because I do not know what that person believes in and I will not make anyone question their own faith... Those who I share an experience with are those who come to me for that one reason... I try to respect all spiritual energy around me, I will not mock or antagonize any energy good or bad... I think that is why I do not get drained from my gift, or why I have not suffered anxiety from it... I also think having it since I was little helped me understand it more and control it now, so that I am able to have conversations with people and have a normal conversation without spirits involved... Having this gift also helps me understand that everything happens for reasons, I may not always see the bigger picture but I absolutely believe that there ALWAYS IS ONE...
To sum up this first entry of my new and improved blog, we must respect one another and show compassion... We all have the right to believe and be who we want to as long as we are true to the spirit within our human selves...
Stay Blessed!!