Sometimes after a reading I am brought back to my own life experiences, my own losses, my own sadness.. I know now all that has happened to me has made me who I am today and has brought me exactly to where I am meant to be...
After my reading Wednesday night, I found myself overwhelmed with emotion... I had read a woman who recently lost a child... She had gone into the hospital, only to leave empty handed... Seeing pictures of her holding her stillborn baby not only touched me it dragged me back thirteen years ago... When I had gone into premature labor and left the hospital the same way she had, empty handed... I remember being sad like her, I remember pleading for answers and reasons why... I am often saddened by some of my experiences and I come home and thank my lucky stars for the blessings I am surrounded with...
Thirteen years ago I had gone into labor and lost twin babies at 5 months, I was devastated at the age of 20... During the next 2 years I had miscarried 3 more times and was told that I was not going to have my own children.. My husband and I were told to think about adoption, or having a Sergeant I knew that this could not be true I knew I would be a mom... Six months after that conversation, I had gotten pregnant again this time I was on birth control and told from the beginning that the pregnancy only had a 10% chance of working... I carried to 8 and a half months, a beautiful baby girl born in November, 8 pounds 8 ounces and she was definitely a miracle baby!
I now have 4 beautiful daughters, and I am lucky that after the birth of my first daughter I had no other problems carrying my own babies... I am definitely done having children of my own and being pregnant 8 times can put a toll on ones body especially in a length of 10 years... I think of the babies I lost, and I get sad just like everyone else... I know that they are being taken care of my grandmothers until it is my turn to join them... Seeing that woman the other night knowing her journey has just started, just hurt my heart enough to stir the pain I know lies deep down...
After the sadness of tragedy fades, there is a pain that remains, life will go on and blessings will shine through so we keep our faith and believe that it is all meant to be...