Sometimes after a reading I am brought back to my own life experiences, my own losses, my own sadness.. I know now all that has happened to me has made me who I am today and has brought me exactly to where I am meant to be...
After my reading Wednesday night, I found myself overwhelmed with emotion... I had read a woman who recently lost a child... She had gone into the hospital, only to leave empty handed... Seeing pictures of her holding her stillborn baby not only touched me it dragged me back thirteen years ago... When I had gone into premature labor and left the hospital the same way she had, empty handed... I remember being sad like her, I remember pleading for answers and reasons why... I am often saddened by some of my experiences and I come home and thank my lucky stars for the blessings I am surrounded with...
Thirteen years ago I had gone into labor and lost twin babies at 5 months, I was devastated at the age of 20... During the next 2 years I had miscarried 3 more times and was told that I was not going to have my own children.. My husband and I were told to think about adoption, or having a Sergeant I knew that this could not be true I knew I would be a mom... Six months after that conversation, I had gotten pregnant again this time I was on birth control and told from the beginning that the pregnancy only had a 10% chance of working... I carried to 8 and a half months, a beautiful baby girl born in November, 8 pounds 8 ounces and she was definitely a miracle baby!
I now have 4 beautiful daughters, and I am lucky that after the birth of my first daughter I had no other problems carrying my own babies... I am definitely done having children of my own and being pregnant 8 times can put a toll on ones body especially in a length of 10 years... I think of the babies I lost, and I get sad just like everyone else... I know that they are being taken care of my grandmothers until it is my turn to join them... Seeing that woman the other night knowing her journey has just started, just hurt my heart enough to stir the pain I know lies deep down...
After the sadness of tragedy fades, there is a pain that remains, life will go on and blessings will shine through so we keep our faith and believe that it is all meant to be...

A bad attitude is like a flat tire, it doesn't get you anywhere until you change it...
Sorry it has been a while since my last post but I have been blessed to be working hard... Mid-September I was worried because my calendar looked a little bare of appointments and no work for me equaled no money... I actually came a point to where  I sat quietly in meditation and asked God, if this was it should I go back to a regular job and just continue to do my readings as a part time situation... That was a Monday morning after all the kids were in school and Mama B had some time to herself... That was an amazing week filled with spiritual answers for myself... I am doing exactly what I was meant to be doing.. In one week, not only did I finish booking the rest of September I completely booked October! It was clear no question I prayed and was lucky enough to be heard...
So October is here and I am one busy medium, and one busy mom... During the week I have been working with a dear friend of mine, and spiritual Empath Samantha... Exploring more of the spiritual healing together... After the girls get home from school, I help do home-work once the husband is home it's usually time for me to get ready to go to work.. Being away from home a few nights a week stinks, but I make sure I take care of my motherly duties and my kids know how important my work is to not only me but to everyone who sees me... I have been so aware of my calling this month, whether it be the moon or the veil between us and the spiritual world around us being a little thinner... I am so aware of me, everything about me.... All the energy around me...
I enjoy when people tell me I am so authentic and genuine there is no one like me, I am not one to push my gift or flaunt it in anyway... When others around me want me to I get very uncomfortable and usually walk away from a situation...  I know that what I do is very emotional and overwhelming and I refuse to let it be anything but personal!

When you believe in God you are able to  pull the strength you need, from your faith....
I have a very good relationship with GOD... I consider myself religious in my own way... I do not attend church every Sunday, nor do I know all aspects of the bible... Have I read it, yes... Do I believe the entire thing page by page, no... Do I believe some of it, yes... I know God is there, how? I have seen and had interactions with spirits almost everyday of my entire life so far... So if our loved ones that have passed are there I am for sure, he is too... I keep my faith in him, and I know that if I need him he will be there... I know that he will answer my prayers, it may not be the way that I expect it to be answered but I know for sure they get answered...
Pulling strength from our faith is an amazing, and great gift... I have seen so many people who have lost so much and continued to have faith... Some of them even experienced a stronger connection with their faith after a tragic event... I believe this is due to the spiritual energy that they know is around them (thanks to GOD)... I always believe things happen for a reason good, bad, and the in between... If I am denied something at a point in my life, I just take it as GOD knows it is not my time for it and I know some day it will be mine, when that time is right...
It is also important to be aware of all the spiritual energy around you, for example have you ever had your mood change when someone around you was having a bad day? That is because their spiritual energy is coming into yours and affecting your energy... Or have you noticed that when your having a bad day your pet comes over, and you feel better? That is because even your pet's spiritual energy can help affect you, and more often then not our pet's always help us in a positive way...  Before you change yourself because your life is moving in a negative direction, look at the company you keep... The family you spend time with, the friends you have... Make sure you just don't need to change the energy around you for your life to become more positive....

Those who are never satisfied...
Some people in this world are just never satisfied, with their situation, with who they are, or even what they are told... There are people who simply play the victim in every life situation, and then there are those who have so much but still feel the need for more... This topic crossed my path a few times this week, and it was in different situations... Last night was almost the last straw for me and I am so happy that last night ended my work week, and I plan to definitely de-stress over these next few days...
When I read someone I get my strongest information from hearing, I hear with my ears and not my mind... So if I hear a spirit clearly, I usually don't ask them to show themselves to mess up the current energy they already have with me... When someone overly stresses the fact that they have seen many psychics, and have seen the best and name big names I cant help but feel nervous or pressure... Then I go to work and like anyone else, I do my best and only my best!.. I have faith in the spirits I hear and see... I don't question myself when it comes to it, but rarely and I do mean rarely ( this is the second circumstance out of 900 experiences) I get someone who just isn't satisfied... I try to make sure that everyone that shares and experience with enjoys it, and I ask if there are any questions before I end my session... There is nothing like hearing someone say I wish I had the opportunity to asked this... Last night to hear the woman say that she didn't believe her mother was there (because she would have been more specific for her) upset me for two reasons... One: The spirit came through loud to me, there was no reason to question she also validated many things during the reading things I could never know with out her spirit there... Two: I did my best and she felt like because of all her OTHER  experiences she challenged me/ compared me...
I never say that I am the best at what I do, and I am still finding my way at how I relay the messages that I hear, I have had this all my life but only doing it professionally not even 2 years... I never had to prove or validate what was presented to me until then...  I know I did my best for her and the spirit that presented herself to me as her mother, and I believe to be her mother because of the validation she proved to me... I will never be able to please everyone, there will be those never satisfied with the experience I provide because their satisfaction level is at a high... I believe in what I know, because of what I see, and what I hear... I just hope that after I left she re-evaluated our session and realized her mother's spirit was there and a sense of comfort was felt...
I do not need believers in me, I just need to know that others believe that loved ones that have passed have not left us here in the physical world!

It's the first day of school for my girls...
So exciting to send my ladies to school this morning especially since my third daughter started kindergarten... So no I have a fifth, second, and kindergartner in full time school and my youngest will be entering pre pre-school tomorrow!! Three days a week will be time to myself and I plan to use that time to concentrate on losing weight... I have made attempts in the past but never successful, this time with determination and lack of excuses about time I am ready... I will be successful...
Last month I was extremely busy with work, I had met so many wonderful people too... I keep thinking to myself that maybe I should start writing a book about my life, I then think about the already countless books out there about people like me why would I... I find it funny that I was always told one day I would write a book, and I always thought it was going to be about my over dramatic family that had so much drama I am sure it would be a best seller... LOL, I sometimes think that I am on a reality show up in heaven and they just watch me and laugh...  There are so many people that after I do the reading, they just ask me question after question and I don't mind at all... I enjoy giving my spin on what I think about us and spirits but I always tell them it's simply my interpretation after all that I am aware of... I do not know all the facts, nor do I know where we go... Heaven to me is a place that I want to go to and when I do, I want the same face and surprise as everyone else... So I limit my questions about heaven...
My gift is special, I respect every aspect of it... If I see or feel an energy I do not antagonize it, I do not force a connection, and I always stay true to my faith that God and the energy around me protect me from evil... If you believe that you have what I do, and want it to grow you must find that within yourself... I always say that becoming more psychic is up to you and your connection to the energy around you if you explore it on your own you will know what your comfort level is... Often others that find groups or schools to help them, suffer anxiety or horrible experiences (not all) I believe it is because of not only all the energy around them but the forcing of the energy around them to make connections... Natural is always the best form, and reading... I like to tell others to a store and look through the books, take the ones that stick out to you the ones that your intuition say YES to... I never mind questions, and I always answer the best that I can, if I don't know I simply say I don't know... We all have some type of gift inside us, it's believing in our self to know that it's truly there!
Believing that we can use our own energy and the energy around us to help guide us in everyday life is an amazing experience, it's letting go and using it that is hard to do... We can all do it!

We are sometimes so consumed by what we want, we forget about what we really need...
Our human interactions, our human eyes create our wants.... Whether it be something someone else has, or by an emotion we feel the need to have... Let's start with love, some are so consumed with having a relationship and finding that way to marriage that they forget that there are some things that they need like being cherished, treated right, or even losing their own selves for someone else... We look from the outside of every other relationship, friendship, we see which means we are not in the inside to know whether or not it is perfect or something "we want"...
I sometimes call it "the grass is always greener syndrome" (not an actual syndrome remember it is what I call it)... It is when you look around you and you assume that the grasses is always greener then in your own lawn... I joke about you don't actually know how much fertilizer those other people had to go through to get their grass that green... Everyone has had their own struggles their own fertilizer to go through and we must understand that...  We may think that God is not giving us what we want, but I am sure he is giving us what we need to maintain our own green lawn...
That is why I make sure I do not overlook the smallest of blessings in my life, because I know that when I look back I will see that it was part of a big one in the making... Some of the things that we don't appreciate day to day, may just be some of the things someone else is praying for today... We must look around and say "thank you"
Being thankful is one of the ways you show GOD honor, so do it everyday...

The worst things that happen to you may be the best things for you, that is only if you don't let it get the best of you...
I have seen so many great people fall from a tragedy, and I have seen plenty rise above the tragedy in their life... Some of us get so consumed with our own thoughts and human reactions that when something bad happens we completely fold to it... What we all need to realize is that there is an end, and in that end we may find the best of things... We are always rewarded from a struggle, even if it's in a way we don't fully understand until way after...
In my life I have had many struggles, I always seem to have to work harder then everyone else and to this day I still do... When I was living down south and my husband and I were having trouble having children, a wise older woman said to me... You cant have a testimony without a test, and the greatest gifts come at the times of no hope... Many years later I still remember that and though I was told I was never going to have kids all those years ago, I see 4 beautiful little girls watching television beside me... I am aware of every miracle in my life, even the ones I could not see... We all get scared, to let go and leave it up to the higher powers trust me I know... When I decided to leave my stable good job to adventure into this I was scared (my husband was worse)... My deal out loud to the God was, if this is what I am meant to do was just to replace what I made at the hospital and I know I will be OK... I have bills and mouths to feed just like you, but I did it I leaped I left my job and kept my faith... BEST DECISION I'VE EVER MADE!
Within months I knew it was for me, not only by the overwhelming response but even on my worst week of booking I made what I would have at the hospital... See when you are meant to do something the universe, the higher power, and you learn to make it work...
Sometimes it is just learning to let go, even when things are at their worst... You never know what amazing things God will bring you to when you can...